parenting

05/21/2015 by Chava

The Importance of Being Outdoors for Children

Is your kid in dire need of some vitamin O? Especially now, with the summer upon us (well, here in the northern hemisphere), everyone is spending lots more time outside. Time outdoors is so crucial for all of us, and children especially. The importance of being outdoors, no matter what the weather is like, can’t be overstated.

Did you know that there are schools that are held completely outdoors? At these schools, learning takes place outside, no matter what the weather. They also do lots of great outdoor activities, like hiking, climbing, canoeing and more. These schools are all over the world and all over the country, though the best known one in the states is probably the one in Portland, Oregon. This outdoor school encourages its students to respect the land, take responsibility for cultivating it and to bask in the opportunities that it affords. It’s available to kids with all different learning styles and abilities. Really, it sounds like something I would have really enjoyed growing up.

Probiotics

All this being said, maybe an outdoor school isn’t realistic for you and your family. Obviously, that’s totally ok, but time outdoors is still crucial. Our culture is obsessed with cleanliness, with our antibacterial soaps and wipes available everywhere and washing our hands maybe a bit too often. This is definitely cleanliness to a fault. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad to shower or to wash after using the restroom (crucial!!) but dirt is protective! The probiotics in dirt protects kids from asthma and allergies and makes the brain work better. Dirt is also good for the gut and reduces inflammation. What’s not to like?

Here’s an awesome infant and toddler probiotic. You can just open it up and sprinkle it onto your kids’ food or pour the contents into a smoothie. But even better than a probiotic is to get outside and get dirty.

Gardening offers a fantastic opportunity to play in the dirt. Children reap so many benefits:

Self esteem
Responsibility
Stress relief
Heart health
Dexterity
Brain health
Immune regulation
Mental health

Sunshine and Vitamin D

Very few foods in nature contain this essential vitamin. And remember – essential means that it cannot be made by the body. Some foods with vitamin D include fatty fish, such as mackerel, salmon and tuna, beef liver, cheese and egg yolks, although these last three only have vitamin D in small amounts.

The sun, free to us all, provides us with an abundance of vitamin D, which is needed to absorb calcium and have strong bones. A severe deficiency in vitamin D is called rickets. Deficiency has also been linked to cancer, depression, obesity and heart disease, so additional vitamin D supplementation in children can be wise.

Furthermore, vitamin D has been used to treat autism, depression, autoimmune disease and other maladies. Every cell in the brain has receptors for vitamin D, cells which control how genetic information is to be used or expressed.

Bare Feet

Do you know Katy from Katy Says? You should, if you don’t! She is all about restoring health through natural movement. She is a big advocate for kids going barefoot whenever possible outside. She doesn’t like seeing kids in heels – and she doesn’t mean high heels, she means any shoe with any kind of a heel. Being barefoot indoors is okay but to be barefoot outside in nature is where it’s at. Being barefoot out in nature bestows:

Better balance
Stronger feet
Stronger stature
Better posture
Better circulation and
All of the benefits of earthing

Earthing is about connecting with the Earth’s electrons and draining free radicals from the body. The body absorbs these electrons from the Earth through the soles of the feet. Earthing also has anti-inflammatory effects.

Read Stephen Sinatra’s groundbreaking book on Earthing to learn more.

Obesity and Screens

It’s okay. Admit it. Someone (or someoneS) in your home are addicted to some kind of screen. I have a kid like this and I struggle with it myself. It’s pervasive in our times. The internet, computers, televisions, iPads, iPhones and more have done so much good for us, but there is a dark side to it all, as well.

In study after study, adolescent obesity has been correlated to screen time. Have you heard of the phrase “sitting is the new smoking”? It’s absolutely true.

Give serious thought to scheduling screen time for your children, if at all possible. I keep reading that “experts” say to limit screen time for children to two hours a day, which seems extremely excessive to me, but that’s just me.

With all this being said, get off the screen! Take your kid and go outside. 😉 Tell me what you think of all this. Barefeet outside? Am I nuts? Did the worms gross you out? Let me know in the comments!

05/07/2015 by Chava

When Parents Feel Judged and Alone

I don’t talk a lot about my parenting choices to people I know. In my community, a lot of what I do is plain weird, whether it’s taking them home early from their kindergartens or the way that we eat. Mommy wars have always made me really sad. Parenting is hard enough without constant judging from others.

Parenting can be extremely lonely and this is especially true if your child has any kind of a special need. From Uncle Jim saying that the kid just needs a few good spankings to the your neighbor down the street saying that he should just eat what the other kids are eating already, everyone thinks they know what how you should be parenting your child. The truth is, no one knows your child better than you do. The answer is not always as simple as using “firm discipline.”

Recognize that strong willed children will frustrate you

This is just a fact of life, unfortunate as it may be. We all deal with frustrating situations differently (stay tuned for next week’s podcast!) and it’s pretty well known that high needs children can be a bit more demanding than their neuro-typical counterparts. If you keep this knowledge in front of you. Own it. If you can disconnect from it, you can master it. All parents lose their cool sometimes. When this happens in public or in front of loved ones, it is embarrassing and painful. But own it and move on because no one is perfect.

Connect with others

You’re feeling alone? The other parents at the park have got you down? I have a friend who has harassed at the local park for piercing her newborn baby’s ears. Now, however you can feel about this, you probably will agree that she didn’t abuse her infant and certainly didn’t do anything illegal. She was down about it for a while, but thankfully, she connected with me and other friends. If you’re having a hard time finding friends – it’s actually getting harder and harder in some places – check out clubs and activities with like-minded mothers, www.meetup.com or just write the community here, in the comments!

Those who judge can shove off

Try to remember the absurdity of the judgement of others. Usually, they don’t know what it’s like to have a special needs kid and even if they do, they don’t know what it’s like to parent your child. The only opinions that matter are that of yours and your spouse. Parental scrutiny is generally a matter of insecurity or boredom, two things that you don’t need to worry too much about in others. Especially perfect strangers! It’s too easy to feel like a failure as a parent, I know that I have felt this many times, and my oldest isn’t even 10. These feelings are only going to take precious moments away from being with your kids.

You are the one who knows the truth

Most of the Mommy Wars surround issues like whether or not to co-sleep, how long to breastfeed, when to set curfew. I’m not of the mindset that it’s a good idea to completely poo-poo first world problems, but when these wars flare up, it’s usually within the middle- to upper-class population, whose children are getting their basic needs met, who are loved, who are educated and fed.

You and your spouse are the only ones who know the truth about your family dynamics. You know what works best for your kids, so you can listen to your inner voice and try to ignore the critics. My entrepreneurial hero Pat Flynn, who is wildly successful, discusses how one hater took him away from work for weeks because of his hateful and spammy comments. His story is a true inspiration.

When it comes from within the family

Speaking of family dynamics, I hate to get all 1950’s on you but there are still husbands out there who have a “my way or the highway” mentality, leaving the wife to withdraw. You can be happily married and still feel alone.

Don’t judge!

Of course, there are terrible parents out there. But these parents, usually abusers, don’t account for the mundane judgments and snark that so many of us have experienced. So if you don’t want to be judged, don’t judge others. I remember having lots and lots of opinions about parenting before I was even a parent. Thankfully, I think (I hope!) I kept a lot of them to myself. Being on the other side now, I understand how difficult (and wonderful!) it is to be a parent.

Conscious Parenting

Here is a great episode of Marie Forleo‘s weekly show. This one is with Dr. Shefali discussing conscious parenting, being true to yourself and teaching your child to be true to himself.

Bookmark this page so that when you feel judged and alone, you can easily come here and know that you aren’t.

How do you deal with feeling judged and alone as a parent? Do you have anything particular that helps you get through this feeling? I would really love to hear about it in the comments below.